The $600 cantaloupe

There is a book called The $64 Tomato by a writer named William Alexander. I haven’t read it, though reviews claim it is quite witty. I am very happy for Mr. Alexander since he only spent $64 to grow a tomato. I figure the single cantaloupe we retrieved from our garden this year cost about $600.

The Spouse can usually be found in front of the TV, in a movie theatre or behind the pages of a book. But this past spring, he busted his butt to make us a lovely veggie garden consisting of four raised beds (he made the wooden frames himself) bordered with Austin stone “bricks” in a gravel-covered area of our yard. He even had to figure out how to mow down a small hill, build a retaining wall and install a drain to make this work. After hauling in a huge load of expensive dirt (which turned out to have zero nutrients), we planted tomatoes, herbs, flowers, watermelons, cantaloupes and squash.

Thanks to no nutrients, we had leggy plants with no fruit. Forget tomatoes, most herbs, squash and the lettuce (which was planted too late anyway). The eggplants never reared their purple heads, and the tomatillos fizzled instead of sizzled. Somehow the basil survived, and we’ve used it to top a few pizzas. And then there were the cantaloupes.

For some reason we had five lovely cantaloupes that became ripe at different times. Fortunately, we got one off the vine before rats or bunnies actually burrowed giant holes through the remaining fruit. Now we are composting away to build up the lousy soil we bought (although not as lousy as the soil in our yard) and hoping for a slightly more abundant winter garden.

Meanwhile, Mary, my city-dwelling Master Gardener friend, has turned her zero-lot-line yard into a veggie garden and harvests about 100 tons of produce a year. There is something to be said for having a green thumb. Can you order one from Burpee?